As Maddox and I were out walking this morning, I noticed that the leaves are changing colors. Summer is officially over. Fall has arrived. Brooks started school over a month ago. He was so excited to start school. I, on the other hand, had some major reservations about it. I worried about the fact that it was 5 (half) days per week. I wondered if we were starting him too early. I worried about missing him while he was away. Change has always been a bit challenging for me. Last week, I went to a mediation class at The Wicker Park Buddhist center. The teacher first taught us a lesson about loving everyone and everything and then about celebrating change. He talked about how many times we get anxious about change but really we should be excited. After all, isn’t everything and everyone constantly changing? When I reflect on this, I know this is true. Brooks and Maddox are growing and changing each and everyday. Chris and I are also working on our own spiritual and personal transformations. Although ours may be slower and less obvious than the changes in our boys, I know that we are constantly changing as well. With change comes new opportunities to grow. Brooks is loving school. I see small changes in him daily. He’s more open to talking to strangers. He seems more patient. It also gives Maddox and I an opportunity to spend some alone time together. He’s never had the luxury of having me to himself. I’m enjoying our morning walks and the extra snuggling time. I also look forward to Brooks’ smiling face at pickup.
About a week ago I finished reading Michael Singer’s newest book called, “The Surrender Experiment“. It is a powerful story about how through meditation he let go of his own personal desires and enjoyed the life he was meant to live. Since I started reading it a few weeks ago I have tried to meditate more and manage and control my life less. I can’t say that I’ve been wildly successful at this practice, but I can say that the practice itself is liberating. Managing and controlling come from a place of fear and bring on feelings of anxiety. Letting go, on the other hand, comes from somewhere deep inside and brings feelings of peace and calm. I know that I will spend the rest of my life working on letting go. This is not something easily mastered. But, I also believe that my life is in God’s hands and if I can relax and let go of the reins a little bit, and trust God a whole lot more, I will enjoy this amazing journey even more than I already do.
If you are curious about meditation but not sure where to start, I encourage you to try Headspace. I have no affiliation with them but Chris and I have both found the app to be really helpful. Meditation is something that seems like it should be easy but it is actually really challenging. Recent Harvard studies have confirmed that meditation creates lasting change in our brains. On a personal level, I can see a difference in myself and in Chris on days that we meditate. Carving out 10-20 minutes everyday can seem challenging but it’s time well spent. I’m currently doing a mediation package on change. Little by little I’m learning to embrace change. Someday I hope to learn to celebrate it.