Not so patiently waiting…

I haven’t written for a while. I’ve been busy nesting. I’ve been working on my “to-do-before-baby” list for weeks now. The car seat is installed, my hospital bag is packed, the nursery is ready. Now, it’s just time to wait.

It’s funny this time around because I know what’s coming. Before having a baby I don’t think anyone can be truly 100% prepared. The lack of sleep, the constant nursing, the weight of caring for another human being 24 hours a day can all be daunting. Yet, here we are fully knowing the challenges that lay ahead and still this baby can’t come soon enough.

I can say though that I’ve made the most of the last few weeks. I’ve taken the time to really enjoy my one on one time with Brooks. It still makes me a tiny bit sad that I won’t have so much attention to give him but I believe with all of my heart that a sibling is the best thing for him. Some day in the not so distant future Brooks will no longer remember life before being a big brother.

I know that this waiting game plays it’s own purpose. Motherhood, above all things, has taught me that we can’t control everything. Here I am wanting so badly to know when our baby will arrive and I have to remind myself that he or she will come when he or she is supposed to. This, like all things, is in Gods hands. Labor is the biggest example that I have of just being able to surrender. I find each day that if I can let go a bit of my need to control things and truly just be, I am happier and more at peace. Waiting for this baby is just more practice. There is nothing more I can do. It is not in my hands.

When I allow myself to go to this place, I feel very peaceful about everything. I’m so grateful to be given another child. I’m so grateful that he or she has had almost 39 weeks to grow and prepare for the outside world. I’m grateful for my growing family and the love that we all share. This is what I will choose to focus on in the remaining days (hopefully) or weeks before we meet the newest member of our family. Thank you God….for we are so blessed.

I pray that this baby will be brought safely into this world and that he or is is healthy. At the end of the day, boy or girl, that’s all that really matters.

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